Q&A chat on Safer Internet Day 2024These were your questions on Safer Internet Day

Question

When should you start teaching your child about pornography? My son is nine years old and many of his classmates already have a smartphone. I sometimes worry that he also sees pornographic or sexual content via his friends. When should I start talking to him about this and how?

Answer

Nowadays, children and young people often come into contact with pornographic content at a relatively early age. Your concern is therefore certainly not unjustified. Perhaps you could ask your son if this has ever been an issue or if he has ever seen anything? An open approach to the topic will signal to your son that he can also turn to you about this issue. This is particularly important if he sees something distressing or has questions. It may also help to talk to the parents of his classmates. Timely, age-appropriate information is important in any case. This interview on klicksafe.de and our information sheet for parents provide some ideas.

Question

Hello, I would like to set clear rules for the class WhatsApp group for my class of 5 in order to prevent pornographic content. What can you recommend?

Answer

Hello, here are materials that are suitable for use in class 5:

• Lesson unit "Our class chat rules"
• Poster "Our rules for the class chat"

There is also the interactive exercise "No-Gos in class chat" in the handbook "Let's talk about porn". The project suggestions in the handbook are suitable for young people aged 12 and over or 14 and over. It is best to see if this project seems suitable for your class. Good luck!

Question

I have the feeling that our 16-year-old son watches porn on his smartphone almost every day. He is becoming increasingly withdrawn with his cell phone. We have already tried to broach the subject, but he categorically blocks conversations. We don't want to monitor him either. What is still normal and when is it too much?

Answer

What you describe doesn't sound totally atypical for a 16-year-old. It's good that you're thinking about it and trying to talk to your son, even if he's blocked it out so far. Keep at it! When something is still normal or already too much can depend on many factors. If other areas of life such as school, education, friends or hobbies are neglected for a longer period of time, it may indicate problematic porn consumption. The website Ins-Netz-gehen provides detailed information on this topic. You can also find a lot of background information in the pornography section of klicksafe.

Question

Hello, if two teenagers consensually send each other nude pictures on WhatsApp, they both have youth pornographic material on their cell phones. Can this be reported from outside, i.e. through the provider's filters or similar?

Answer

Yes, it is indeed the case that both people have youth pornographic material on their cell phones. However, under the conditions that both are over 14 years old, that the images are of their own bodies and that the images were exchanged consensually, this is not punishable in Germany. It is important that the images are not distributed further, but are only intended for personal use and are only used in this way.

According to Meta, WhatsApp chats are subject to end-to-end encryption and are not viewed by the service itself. Accordingly, there would be no filtering or display from this side. However, we have no insight into how the services work, so we cannot completely rule out the possibility that this does happen.

Question

My son (12 years old) is always looking for ways to consume pornographic content. Friends talk about it and he wants to join in. He doesn't have his own cell phone and we regulate internet access. When he has found "a gap", he is drawn to it. For example, he searches for sex podcasts or similar. Is this "normal" and how should we deal with it?

Answer

It's completely normal for your son to be interested in porn at this age and to want to be part of his group of friends. Watching porn can be part of discovering his own sexuality. Regardless of the content, sometimes the allure of the forbidden can also be a motivator. Perhaps you can talk to your son and share your worries and concerns with him. In any case, it is important to talk about the things your son sees and to remain open to the topic. It can also help to talk about it with the parents of his friends and exchange ideas. Perhaps your son is not so much interested in pornographic content, but in information about sexuality? There are some good sex education resources for this, such as Loveline from the Federal Center for Health Education or the information videos in the series "Du bist kein Werwolf" from Planet Schule. It is best to take a look at these offers yourself first to decide whether they are appropriate for your son.